honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize