It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
