i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
