singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love you. Go after that dick
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
