i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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