It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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