We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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