i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
