Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
