Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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