So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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