I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
