Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
