I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
