College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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