How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
