I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
