I love black thongs
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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