Will you blow on my dice?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Me. At least after what I've been through.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
