My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
