we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I deserve this hangover.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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