Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh god it's open bar.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
