Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize