You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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