i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
