Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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