No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
