yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
