at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
