He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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