I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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