Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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