New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you win again, gameday.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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