this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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