break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize