You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
