i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
