i wish there were pregnant emoticons
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
