I'll bet she douches with gravy.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize