Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize