this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
