My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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