people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
