Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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