I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize