Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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