there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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