babies were throwing up all over the place
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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