Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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