omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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