I got chris browned last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
