Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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