I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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