Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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