what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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