my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize