Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
