I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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