dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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