why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize