letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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