I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
