He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize